Zachary came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mother he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So the mother fished it out and threw it in the rubbish. Zachary stood there for a moment, then ran back to the bathroom and came out with his mum’s toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ‘cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”

A lady went to the butcher shop to buy a chicken for the Sunday meal. The butcher had only one scrawny chicken left. He puts it on the scale.
"Three pounds," he said.
"That's too scrawny; don't you have something bigger?" asked the lady.
He pretended to rummage around, and then put the same chicken back on the scale, while pressing with his thumb.
"Three and a half pounds," he said.
"That looks better," said the lady. "I'll take them both."